what does it really mean to be in a relationship that is focused on honoring God’s Will and how to do it: a step by step.
- find a partner. or more preferably, let them find you. (not in a “fair maiden rescued” kinda way,) being totally honest with you, its a lot of work actively searching a mate. might as well let God’s plan fall into place. amiright, ladies? plus, it’s more rom-com that way.
- don’t stress about how you look. guys sense a woman in distress. the ones you want to avoid will try to take advantage of that and the good ones will have no idea what’s happening. find you a guy that is just happy to be with you.
- don’t test him. “do you like me better with or without makeup?” is a baited question, and you know it. try, “i tried something new with my makeup, do you like it?” he thinks you’re drop dead gorgeous either way and doesn’t even the notice the hours of effort you’ve made. that’s okay. learn to accept guys might not notice things like that (just like we might not notice little things he does for us!!) but hey, maybe he’ll point it out the next time you really do try something new and i promise you will feel oh, so special.
- God’s guy for you won’t be obsessed with your body. he won’t always be staring at you and telling you you look smokin’ today (even though you already know it.) yes, this can seem like a bummer when you’re down about how your stomach is bloated that day, or if your hair is a mess, but it is eons better than the alternative. if he’s not constantly pawing at you for his physical urges to be fufilled, it means that the real you, inside you, that usually only you see is shining through so bright he barely even notices the other stuff. if he is more attracted to your mind and your spirit, then you’ve got a keeper.
- now that being said, physical attraction is important. it’s not a bad thing, in fact beauty is something God gave to us as a gift. he gave us physical attraction to our partners because he understands just how important that is. his recognition of your beauty should be coming from a place of love and pure desire. (although how that is expressed can steer you away from God’s Almighty Plan, see #6-affection.) he should lift you up, put you on a pedestal. He should recognize that your beauty is not merely for him. That it was given to you by God and you have let him in.
- *sighs* affection. here we go. affection is one of the greatest and most dangerous powers we are given. passion is a wonderful thing. being able to manipulate your partner’s chemical balances through physical contact is so remarkable, also yay for science and dopamine. but with great power comes great responsibility. listen to that little voice in your head. if the alarms sound, stop. even if you don’t think it could have consequences what you are about to do isn’t just about you, no matter how bad you want it to be. it’s about him, its about God, and its about the people around you. think of the warning bells like a tornado siren. prepare yourself, take cover, and take all precautions necessary.
- communication is key. your man is not a mind-reader. he’s not a psychic fortune-teller, although if he is, that’s another conversation. talk to him. language is this /beautiful thing, but its useless if we don’t take advantage of it. that being said, body language is important too. picking up little signals from your partner can be an integral part of your relationship. but don’t stress out too much if he isn’t immediately get the hint. guys are simple creatures when it comes to those things. Just tell him what you need and he will try his best to help you out. you’ll feel so much better, and plus, your need will be met the best to his ability.
- pray with him. think of your relationship like a triangle, kind of like the trinity. you and him are right next to each other, giving equal support to the two beams adjacent and the one in between. God is there at the point, connected to both you and him, and in turn, lifting up the beam in between the two of you. Without each piece, the shape is incomplete and it just doesn’t work. So when you pray, include him; he’s part of the triangle, right? pray with him. life is so much better without a middle-man when it comes to communication and relationship. might as well have all parties present. hold his hand tight and cling to his spirt. allow him to lean on you for support and guidance. Lift your worries and grievances up to God together. lift your praises up, too. celebrating is much more fun when you’re not all alone.
- be obedient to His Word. hearing God’s whisper is much more efficient if there is another pair of ears listening out for it. if His call goes out to the both of you, you’re more likely to hold each other accountable. it’s like dieting, but except instead of making sure neither of you have an extra piece of cake, you’re walking next him on the narrow road to eternal life. as Christians we’re called to hold eachother accountable (he reminds me of this everyday.) who’s better than to be the one to tell you to tighten up than the person you know has your best interest at heart and loves you unconditionally?
being in a relationship with someone isn’t something to be taken lightly. it’s a commitment and is meant to lead a pathway for a future with a strong foundation. trust the Lord and follow His guidance. He knows what He’s talking about.